


Home Match

by koob



Series: Loving, and Being Loved [2]
Category: Metal Gear
Genre: (just one dog), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dogs, Family Issues, Fluff, M/M, author is also a dumb binch, eli is a dumb binch
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2019-09-02 10:46:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16785415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koob/pseuds/koob
Summary: Dave hasn't seen his twin brother in years.Which will make things awkward when he comes over to live with Dave for three days.





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyy! as promised, i am writing again! this is in the same series as my Dogs are the Best Wingmen fic, but that is in no way required reading. also, i know this is tagged as otasune, but the brothers' relationship is also a main focus.  
> i hope you enjoy!

Dave paced restlessly in Hal and his shared apartment, feeling both Hal and Rex’s gazes trailing after him nervously. He clenched his fist around the already crumpled note in his hand, its contents making his head spin both from anxiety and irritation.

When Dave had found an unmarked, unaddressed letter in his mailbox, complete with a deep crimson wax seal, he had been nothing short of… alarmed. Returning to his room, he had torn off the seal on the front (also tearing the envelope to shreds in the process, but that wasn’t really his priority at the time).

Dave’s resulting yell of anguish had Hal sprinting into the room, afraid that Dave was literally dying, only to find him hunched over a tiny sheet of paper. With shaky hands, Dave had clutched the note, squinting at the scratchy writing.

DEAR _BROTHER_ ,

REMEMBER ME?

OF COURSE YOU DO, I’M UNFORGETTABLE.

AS YOU MAY HAVE HYPOTHESIZED ALREADY, YOU HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH CONTACT FROM ME, YOUR ESTRANGED BROTHER, ELI.

I WILL BE TRAVELLING TO AMERICA AT THE BEGINNING OF FEBRUARY, AT WHICH POINT I EXPECT YOU TO GRACIOUSLY HOST ME IN YOUR HUMBLE ABODE FOR A GRAND TOTAL OF THREE DAYS. YOU HAVE NO CHOICE IN THE MATTER.

I’LL SEE YOU ON THE SEVENTH, DEAR BROTHER.

And then at the bottom, Eli had signed his name in obnoxiously loopy cursive.

(Hal did some research, and as it turned out, the wax seal’s markings was the crest of some random British family. Which, to Dave, probably meant Eli stole the stamp.)

David had known at the first word, no, the first letter, who had written it. The signature was unnecessary. Frankly, he wished he _didn’t_ recognize it.

His relationship with his brother was… complicated.

Sure, they were twins, but they were probably as different as night and day, down to the color of their hair. Of course, they’d grown up side by side, doing their best to deal with their father’s shoddy upbringing of them both, along with their little brother George. Their father’s routine treatment of switching from complete neglect to literal military exercises had taken its toll on the three of them, with Dave shutting himself off from everyone, and George often leaving home to go anywhere but there. Eli just… lashed out at everyone.

On some base level Dave understood how he was feeling, probably better than anyone else ever could. But, any sympathy he might have felt was quickly clouded by anger every time Eli would set up trip wires in front of his room, or steal his things, or beat up some random kid at school, whenever he decided to show up. Even when he was being civil, his inherent cocky nature just set Dave’s nerves on edge.

The closest they’d ever come to a pact was when Dave had caught Eli about to run away from home.

Eli had frozen like a deer in headlights when he made eye contact with Dave, pausing in the middle of rifling through kitchen drawers. Dave had simply nodded once, then turned around and went back upstairs.

And, that was the last time he’d seen his twin brother. At least, until tomorrow.

If not for that quiet moment, amongst few others that showed Eli wasn't a complete asshole, Dave wouldn't even consider letting Eli near his home. Not like he had a choice, anyways, like Eli said. He certainly hadn't ever told him his address, but some part of him knew Eli would find a way.

“Dave?” Hal offered, voice quiet. “You’re going to wear a hole in the floor if you keep pacing like that. He’s not even supposed to come today.”

Dave merely grunted a response, running a hand over his face. He knew that Hal was right and that he should save his nervous energy for later, but he couldn’t stop thinking about the complications. What if it was incredibly awkward? Well, he knew the answer to that, of course it would be. But, what if Eli was still the asshole he was a decade ago? What if he didn’t like he and Hal’s relationship?

It was for that reason that both Hal and Dave decided to keep their relationship on the low down for a while, since Dave didn’t _really_ want to toss Eli off a cliff just yet. Though, if he made any snide comments towards Hal, he would receive both a prompt eviction as well as a black eye. Maybe a broken arm, too.

There were so many things that could potentially go wrong, and on a base level Dave knew that this would just be one long three-day headache. But, another part of him, the hopeful part of him, hoped that they could maybe… reconcile.

“David? Babe, you’re pacing again.” Dave froze in his tracks, realizing that yes, he was pacing again.

“...Sorry,” He grumbled out, shuffling over to where Hal was on the couch. “You know how stressed I am about this.” Hal only smiled and shook his head fondly, welcoming him with open arms. Dave was just about to envelop himself in the warm embrace of his boyfriend when he noticed something.

The doorknob was jiggling.

Before Hal could even react, Dave tackled him and Rex to the floor in front of the couch, just in time for the door to be kicked in with a loud bang, Hal yelping in fear. Peeking out warily, Dave could just make out a set of heavy combat boots, a beige pea coat, and…

Oh no.

“Long time no see, dear brother!” Eli proclaimed as if he was speaking to an entire audience, bending down slightly to make eye contact with Dave. Dave quickly scrambled up, every muscle poised to fight, while Hal pawed around on the ground for his glasses. Something was...profoundly different about Eli.

“When… the hell,” Dave chose his words carefully, afraid he might lose it and castrate him. “...Did you get. A British accent.”

Eli paused for a moment but then glossed over his question, shucking off his boots and strolling into the room with the arrogance of a peacock, waving a surprisingly polite greeting towards Hal. Hal only waved back dazedly from his place on the floor, his glasses crooked on his face. Dave immediately bristled and subconsciously took a step between Hal and him, all thoughts of reconciliation all but snuffed out.

“Y-You’re -” Dave spluttered, at a loss for words. “You’re a day earlier than what you said-!”

Eli waved dismissively, beginning to unbutton his overcoat. “Ah, right. Merely a time zone error, I’m afraid.”

Dave opened his mouth to respond, but quickly clamped it shut as Eli shrugged off his coat to reveal he wasn’t wearing a shirt underneath. Dave’s brain shut down from the sheer absurdity of the situation, and saw Hal’s eyebrows raise above his hairline out of the corner of his eye.

Dave pinched the brow of his nose, realizing that Eli had left his door wide open, swinging on its hinge. Turning on his heel and huffing, he went to-

“JESUS-!” Dave shouted, barely stopping himself from walking straight into someone. He heard Hal squeak as he also noticed the intruder, and instantly, he jumped back, deeply unnerved that someone was able to sneak in so soundlessly.

The man was wearing a hugely oversized black turtleneck, but even with all the layers, Dave could tell he was painfully thin. He was also incredibly tall, and Dave had to crane his neck up to make eye contact. He had a striking appearance, with eyes a milky blue, face covered in scars and freckles alike, and a shock of curly red hair that looked like it hadn’t been brushed properly in a while. Curiously enough, he also sported a black surgical face mask, with a pattern resembling skull teeth.

“Hey.” He held up a peace sign, looking bored. His voice had a sickly rattling quality to it, like he was speaking through a gas mask.

“Oh, yeah, that’s Mantis, my psychic friend.” Eli gestured vaguely in his direction, Mantis waving back lazily. “He’s here too.”

Dave blinked.

It was going to be a long three days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in the wise words of inkywandmaker, "eli that's RUDE"  
> as always i love getting comments! any criticisms? did i make spelling errors? you think im a basard? feel free to tell me!


	2. Day 1

Dave flopped onto the bed, utterly exhausted.

All things considered, things had gone better than he’d expected? After getting over the initial shock, he’d been able to go over details civilly. For example, Eli had been living in Great Britain, where he said they hadn’t invented shirts yet, he'd met Mantis (“the psychic”) somewhere along the line, and now he was inexplicably in America.

The moment the sun set, David gave Eli free reign to decide sleeping arrangements, and fled to his room. It may have been spineless, but he justified it to himself as a tactical retreat.

Dave had no clue what to make of either of them. Just talking to Eli made the hairs on the back of his neck bristle, and although technically Mantis hadn’t done anything yet, he was just… unnerving. If his legal name was Mantis, Dave would eat his shoes. And if he was genuinely a psychic, Dave would start believing in god.

That was a problem for tomorrow, though. Now, he could just relax, forget about the two bastards in his living room, tuck himself into bed with the blankets pulled up to his nose, and spend time quality time with his boyfriend.

Hal set his weird Japanese cartoon book dog-eared on the bedside table, turning off the light and shuffling down into the covers to join Dave.

“Well, today was certainly something.” Hal said half to himself, speaking into the darkness. Dave just mumbled softly in assent, gathering Hal into his arms.

“Let’s hope nothing goes terribly, ha....Dave? What are you doing?” Hal mumbled, with a touch of amusement. Dave just kissed the side of his neck, slipping his hands beneath Hal’s shirt. 

Hal snorted, and Dave could practically feel him rolling his eyes. “Dave! Oh, come on, you’re breaking your own rule!”

Dave stopped for a moment. “I rescind my rule.” Then he promptly resumed his work, hands starting to dip lower.

Hal stopped him, turning to face him and holding his wrists. “Hands to yourself, mister.” He chided, fondly exasperated at Dave’s lack of self restraint. Dave let out the most pathetic whine he could muster, breaking free of Hal’s grasp and cuddling into his chest. Hal breathed a sigh out of his nose, used to Dave’s antics by now.

“... Alright, fine,” Hal muttered, gently tipping Dave’s head up and pressing his lips against his. Dave made a small noise of surprise - he expected to lose this battle, but he was far from complaining.

Dave sighed happily, rolling on top of Hal to better kiss him. Dave was letting his hands wander, Hal’s hands were tangling in his hair, and a pleasant warmth was-

All of a sudden, Hal froze, eyes fixed on something behind Dave. “E-Eli! I - uh, we can explain-”

Dave whipped himself around, heart pounding and already formulating the best plan to toss Eli out the window. His eyes darted around the room, but… no one was there. Dave turned around to face Hal again, profoundly confused, only to get poked in the nose.

“See? That’s what could happen,” Hal chastised him, shaking his head. Dave’s eyes widened and he rolled over again, grumbling and rubbing his nose. How could he be betrayed so easily? How could he have been duped by such a simple diversionary tactic? His own boyfriend? A master of strategy? Impossible.

He heard Hal chuckle from behind him, obviously amused at Dave’s pouting. “Fine, be that way. It won’t kill you to keep it in your pants for one night.” Dave opened his mouth to respond, but almost immediately melted into Hal’s touch as he felt his arms wrap around him, and his grumpy thoughts flew out the window.

“...Night,” he grumbled out, letting himself be the little spoon. Begrudgingly, he added to himself.

“Night, Dave.”

  


The next day, Dave stumbled out of his room at 6 AM, bleary-eyed and hungry. Hal was still asleep, snoring away as always, but Dave didn’t want to run the risk of seeming suspicious. He’d have to save his admire-his-boyfriend time for another day.

Scanning the living room, he saw the shock of red hair peeking out from the couch that denoted Mantis, but Eli was nowhere to be found. He narrowed his eyes, but figured he didn’t have the balls to booby-trap him in his own home. He briefly considered going back to cuddle with Hal, but his better judgement won out, though it didn’t stop him from feeling bitter about it as he scarfed down burnt toast.

“Rex, c’mon, wake up.” He whispered, toeing Rex who was currently asleep over his shoes. “Let’s go take our walk.” Instantly, Rex rolled over in his floppy husky way, and let Dave put his leash on.

Dave hadn’t actually checked the time before he left, but judging from the sun’s position, it was maybe about 6 AM. Which was just as good, because he didn’t want to run into anybody. The only other people out and about were fellow jogging maniacs like him, which he exchanged nods with.

He and Rex always took the same path, jogging a simple few blocks around the neighborhood. Honestly, right now he was taking his sweet time, trying to put off going back and having to see Eli again.

They passed by the corner store Hal liked to go to, which was mostly empty. They were nearly out of bagels; Dave made a mental thought to stop by soon, and - wait.

Squinting his eyes, he spotted a familiar suspicious figure in the window. Said figure was currently turning over a bag of snacks in his hands pensively, as if it held to the secrets of the universe, before surreptitiously turning to slip it in his pocket. As the man pivoted, Dave could catch a glimpse of his hoodie, the zipper alarmingly low, with a bare chest underneath.

Of course he’d run into Eli as he was trying to avoid him.

Dave huffed, stopping Rex from running away and rapped on the glass. He thought he’d be past petty shoplifting by now, but apparently he'd set the bar a bit too high. Eli jumped, whipping to face him with battle-ready tense expression Dave knew well. In that moment, he felt a slight kinship with him - before Eli’s face melted into a cocky grin, and Dave remembered why he didn’t talk to him for a decade.

Dave gestured at the snacks, and Eli’s expression turned sheepish as he pulled it out of his pocket. Dave then pointed at the “no shirts, no shoes, no service sign,” raising an eyebrow. Eli zipped up his hoodie by a centimeter, middle finger and tongue stuck out, every atom of his pose embodying a rebellious teenager, even though both of them were very nearly thirty.

Dave just rolled his eyes, disappointed even though not a word was exchanged between the two of them, before snapping to attention as Eli conspiratorially waved him inside. He looked legitimately concerned, so with extreme reluctance, Dave tied Rex’s leash to the bike rack and ventured inside.

The second Dave found him, he was yanked behind a rack, like some sort of shady drug deal. “Say, Dave, old chap,” Eli whispered, wrapping an arm around Dave’s shoulders as soon as he walked in. Which Dave promptly shoved off.

“What do you need.”

“Oh come now, brother, don’t be so-” Dave raised an eyebrow, not in the mood for shenanigans. Eli seemed to concede, sighing in defeat. “Alright, fine. I seem to be running low on funds, and I need you to buy this for me.”

He blinked. He felt simultaneously overwhelming annoyance as well as overwhelming _nothingness_ , as he stood there stony faced. Eli seemed to be waiting for an answer, waggling the bag in front of his face.

“N-”

“I _know_ what you must be thinking,” Eli cut in, obviously expecting to be declined. “But don’t you think you owe me, your most treasured twin, a favor? Hm? Just because I’m handsome? Smart? Talented? Trying to buy this for Mantis, because he never eats anything? Benevolent?”

“Eli, I’m not going to-” He blinked as he realized what Eli said. So this wasn’t an act of complete selfishness, which honestly, was like a bolt from the blue. It seemed that Eli actually cared for his spindly friend, and they weren’t just sticking together out of circumstance.

God dammit, something about a troubled, angry man making a legitimate friend he cared about struck too close to home, and Dave’s face twitched as he reluctantly snatched the bag from Eli’s grasp. He could see Eli whoop silently in triumph, and tried to suppress another eye-roll. His brother was making friends, which was more than what he could say for teenage Eli, so this was good. (Not that he was any more popular at that age.) He grabbed a bag of bagels before paying, thanking the tired-looking cashier.

“Say, how about I give you a ride home? For your gratuitous generosity towards me.” Eli grabbed Dave again as they left, Dave untying Rex with his free hand. Dave wanted to decline desperately, and almost did, until it hit him.

“You have a car?”

Eli nodded proudly, sauntering over to an (unpaid) parking meter and draping himself over the absolutely most dingy, beat-up convertible Dave had ever laid eyes on, covered with obnoxious decals and scrapes.

“Here she is! I got her for dirt cheap, but she drives like a dream~” He crooned, vaulting over the side into the driver’s seat. Dave just stood in shock, looking at the scratches and dents the thing had. It had obviously been red at one point, but time had not been kind; moreover, it looked like the top of the car had been pried off with someone’s (Eli’s) bare hands, instead of being a built-in feature.

Would Dave die if he rode in this?

The three of them pulled up in his apartment’s parking lot, Dave clambering out of the car as soon as possible and pulling Rex with him. Rex seemed unfazed the journey, seeing as that he enjoyed the wind blowing through his fur. Dave, on the other hand, did not enjoy the weird scraping noises, Eli’s reckless driving, or the rock music he blasted. Well, that last one was alright; it at least gave the two of them a reason to not talk to each other. And the music wasn’t half bad. 

After tossing Eli his requested snacks, he made his way up the flights of stairs with Rex without waiting up for Eli. After all, what if the car decided at that moment to blow up? It definitely wasn’t another tactical retreat.

He let himself into the apartment, Rex going to jump on the couch while Dave tossed the bagels in the fridge. Distantly, he heard the sound of Hal talking coming from his nerd room, and curiously prowled over.

“... wait, what’s the friendship level that Eevee evolves at?”

“I will check the wiki.”

Dave peeped through the crack in the door, only to find Hal and Mantis sitting together on the floor, playing a video game together on hal’s boxy-looking console.

He must’ve made an indignant noise because Hal turned around, his face lighting up upon seeing Dave. Under any other circumstance Dave would’ve found it adorable, but now he just waved Hal over. Hal handed the controller to Mantis, who hadn’t turned around the whole time, and scrambled over.

“Hal, why are you talking with Mantis?” Dave whispered as he pulled him out of earshot, shutting the door behind Hal.

Hal cocked his head, obviously confused. “I’m just getting to know our guest?”

“Hal, this isn’t some regular houseguest. He’s - He’s the-” The military part of his brain screamed _the enemy_ , but that was going a bit too far. Instead, he settled for gesticulating angrily. “He’s the - _you know!_ ” Almost on cue, he heard the tell-tale bang of Eli kicking his apartment door in again. He briefly considered telling their landlord to invest in better locks.

Hal fortunately (or unfortunately) caught onto his meaning, his face turning into a slight frown. “But Dave, Mantis is really cool! He’s psychic! Oh, and he let me trade his Kyogre for my Scyther! Do you know the stat differences betwee-”

“Hal, there’s no way any friend of Eli’s is safe to interact with.” Wait. Dave replayed what Hal said in his head.

“Wait, back up, back up. What did you say?”

“Kyogre-”

“No, before that.”

“...He’s psychic?”

Dave blinked, lowering his voice to an accusatory hiss. “Hal, you can’t seriously tell me you’re buying into that.”

“I didn’t believe it at first, but - okay, watch this.” Hal cracked the door open again and peeked his head inside. “Hey, Mantis, say something psychic!”

Mantis still didn’t look up from his phone, his long black nails clacking on the screen. “You like Castlevania, don’t you?”

Hal squealed, shaking Dave’s shoulder slightly. “See! I told you! He’s so cool!”

“I- Hal, you’re _wearing_ a Castlevania shirt.”

Hal deflated for a moment, before regaining his confidence. “Yeah, well, I’m turned around right now, so it’s not like he could see it! He’s definitely psychic!”

“YEAH! He gets it!” He heard Eli shout from across the room, eating the bagels Dave just bought for Hal.

Dave just rubbed his temples and retreated to his room once more.

  


At some point, Dave managed to doze off despite the chatter going on outside his door. He felt bad for leaving Hal to fend for himself, but it was his own choice to venture out into the fray.

Dave was awoken from his nice nap by a knock on his door. He jerked his head up, but upon seeing Hal’s bespectacled face peer through the doorway, he let his head fall back onto the pillow.

“Hrn. Finally realizing they’re not worth commiserating with?” He caught a glimpse of the hallway before Hal came in and shut the door again, somewhat relieved by the fact that Eli or Mantis wasn’t lurking nearby.

“What? No! Mantis is still pretty great! Though, um. I’ll be honest, Eli, is, ah, kinda scary…” Dave instantly bolted upright, ready to defend Hal to the death.

Hal quickly waved his hands around, trying to calm Dave. “N-No! His personality is just… really strong? He mentioned offhand that I looked like a guy he used to bully in middle school…” Dave racked his brain, trying to think of a kid that went to his middle school that looked like Hal, but realized Eli bullied too many to pinpoint a specific one.

“Plus, he does look like a guy who bullied _me_ in middle school, so I got nervous... But I really want to have a nice dinner with our guests! I’d just like you to be there as sort of a buffer.”

Dave groaned, but already felt his body getting up almost of its own accord. There was just no way he could say no that that cute face.

“More like a human meat shield,” he mumbled, letting Hal gently lead him by the hand to the kitchen. He was greeted by the greasy smell of cheap Chinese food takeout, which Eli was currently helping himself to. Mantis sat next to him, seemingly content to just drink a juice box with the straw slipped under his face mask.

They only actually had three real chairs, so Eli had to sit on a cheap lawn chair Dave dug out of a closet. He reclined in the flimsy white plastic as if it were a throne, nodding a cheeky hello at Dave as he sat down.

The next few minutes passed in stuffy silence, with Eli and Dave equally determined to not talk and just focus on their food. Dave was grateful Hal didn’t try to cook; the man was halfway decent at it, but paradoxically, the more effort and stress he put into a meal, the more inedible it became. Though, if Hal had actually cooked, maybe they’d all die and not have to deal with this situation.

“So. Um. How about this weather, huh?” Hal suddenly blurted out, looking determined to get Eli and Dave to get along and also like he wanted to crawl into a hole. Dave’s heart went out to him for trying so hard, but at the same time, he wanted to slam his head into the table at his piss-poor attempt at socialization.

“Hng. Yeah, it’s… cold.” Dave at least extended an olive branch by not leaving him to die in silence.

Eli scoffed theatrically, pointing at him with his fork. “You think it’s cold? This is nothing. I can barely feel anything.” He flexed his bare chest to punctuate his sentiment, Dave wanting to gag at the sight.

“Yeah, I know, asshole, I used to live in Alaska.” Dave was used to low temperatures; honestly, he could probably stand to go shirtless like Eli, except he had more dignity.

Eli looked curious, but wasn’t about to back down from a potential challenge. “Oh? Well, you try living in Africa, brother! The average heat there is a thousand times worse than any chills you might feel in _Alaska_.”

“Please.” Dave pointed back with his fork forcefully. “You want heat? Try being stationed in Pakistan in the middle of summer.”

“Yeah? Well, try this on for size, brother! I was stationed in Pakistan _too_ , under a commander who couldn’t bloody ration, so we were out of water in the middle of a desert!” Eli pointed even harder with his fork, the piece of food speared on it almost flying off.

“To be fair, that’s not as bad as starving in the middle of a Russian winter.” Mantis suddenly piped up, looking up from his phone.

“Wolf would say that’s nothing, you know.” Eli murmured to Mantis, but was still audible to Dave.

“Yeah, but that’s because Wolf is just that kind of person.”

The two of them shared a small laugh, while Dave furrowed his brow. Finding out more about Eli was like putting together a complex puzzle, while being sucker-punched every time he connected a piece. Offhandedly, he wondered why so many of Eli’s friends were named after animals.

Eli suddenly turned his attention to Hal, grinning like the jackass he was. “What about you, Emmerich? Any harrowing brushes with nature?”

Hal jumped, obviously distraught over his plans of sitting out the conversation out being dashed. He took a moment to rack his brains, pushing his food around on his plate anxiously. “Ah… one time it snowed so hard at MIT that classes were cancelled for three days?” Hal offered, his voice sounding higher than normal out of nervousness. “Oh, and there was that one time in California where a huge fire tornado spout thing burned down my dad’s house.”

Dave was about to jump in and tell Eli to back off from Hal, but he paused, mouth slightly agape, to take in what Hal just said. Eli and Mantis had similar reactions, stunned into silence.

Eli immediately probed Hal for more details, so shocked that his bold persona faltered for a moment. Even Mantis jumped in, alarmingly interested in the fire aspect of the story, showing an emotion other than boredom or mild distaste for once.

Despite the silly nature of the conversation, Dave had actually learned a lot about Eli, and he assumed vice versa. He thought back to being stationed in Pakistan, easily more than half a decade ago… Had Eli and him been stationed at the same time? Could they have met on the battlefield, and just never noticed each other? Had the seen the same things, experienced the same experiences?

Maybe they weren’t so different, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoaaaaaaaa this fic got SUCH a positive response even though it just started! i cant thank you all enough omg!  
> i also cant say sorry enough that it took so long for an update lmao. hopefully this is satisfactory!  
> again a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuge thank you to my pal InkyWandmaker for helping me along through the process! shes amazing, you should absolutely go check out her writings!  
> finally, i love getting comments so feel free to type away :0 got criticisms? complaints? think im stupit? go ahead and tell me!


	3. Day 2

From sound alone, Dave could almost imagine Hal’s fingers skimming over his keyboard, hammering out code at an alarming rate. Normally he’d watch, but right now, the clacking of the keys was pleasant white noise that Dave was trying to fall asleep to.

That is, until Hal broke the silence.

“Dave, you should really try to talk to him.”

Dave huffed, cracking an eye open. “What, and do an icebreaker? This isn’t grade school, Hal. I share genes with the guy.”

“David. You have to at least do something. You’ve been laying in bed for the past six hours, you’re gonna fuse to the bed.”

Dave looked around the room (just to confirm to himself that yes, he was laying in bed) before meeting Hal’s eyes looking at him disapprovingly from above his glasses. “What, like you’ve never laid in bed all day before?”

Hal stifled a less-than-elegant snort, before realizing what Dave was doing. “Hey, don’t think I don’t see you changing the subject. I think it has the potential to go well!”

David just huffed and rolled over, facing away from Hal. Hal could probably still see him, though, given that he was sitting right next to him.

This had been an on and off argument ever since Eli had arrived. Honestly, Dave was being a little more harsh than was necessary. A childish part of him that he didn’t know still existed was rearing its head again, not only making him stubborn, but too stubborn to accept that he was _being_ stubborn.

Hal just tsked, finally pausing his typing. “I… I know how you feel about him, but I really feel he’s better than you’re making him out to be!”

Dave didn’t respond, Hal choosing to fill the silence in his stead. “Remember when I went to visit Emma two months ago? I thought she’d hate me and would kick me out of her apartment, but instead we wound up drunk-crying together at 3 AM, ha. ” The mattress squeaked, which likely meant that Hal was narrating with his hands again.

“Basically, what I’m saying is that by opening up, I found a part of my past that I’d missed! And now we email pictures of our pets to each other daily!”

Dave did indeed recall getting many photos of Emma’s nice bird thrust in his face. He was about to respond that it seemed unlikely that Eli and him would exchange cute dog photos, but bit it back. Hal was always so forgiving, so earnest, so kind… He really believed in the good in all people. It was one of the things Dave loved most about him, honestly.

He didn’t like arguing with Hal.

“... I’ll think about it, babe.” Dave mumbled, gently taking Hal’s hand and kissing the back of it as a sort of peace treaty. Well, at the awkward angle, he pressed more of his cheek to Hal’s hand rather than lips, but Hal made a soft noise nonetheless.

“Thank you, Dave.” Hal pushed his laptop aside for a moment, leaning down to kiss Dave.

Dave relished in the attention like a snake basking in the sun, before Hal mumbled against his lips. “Maybe now you’ll finally leave this room. Honestly, being a shut-in is supposed to be my thing.”  


When Dave said he’d “think about it,” he didn’t mean “think about it a lot.” But, here he was, racking his brains for what he could possibly do to approach Eli.

Dave would’ve really appreciated Hal’s moral support and advice, but unfortunately for him, he’d left a few hours earlier for work. Dave still wasn’t positive what kind of job George gave him, since his head spun with the coding jargon every time Hal tried to explain it to him, but he was happy and that was what mattered.

Back to the task at hand, though. God, this felt like trying to corner a wounded animal. If he came across as too emotionally honest, Eli would probably make fun of him. If he came across as too aloof, Eli would probably just brush it off. And also make fun of him.

He noted the scattered wrappers and water bottles littered around the floor as he snuck out of his room, proof of him squirreling away supplies so he wouldn’t have an excuse to venture outside. Hal was definitely right; he was becoming a hermit.

He poked his head around the corner, assessing the situation. Eli was sitting on the couch, flicking through channels on the TV as he absentmindedly scratched Rex’s head. Dave felt a sense of betrayal at seeing Rex be so friendly towards Eli, but it was better that they got along, otherwise Dave would have to break Eli’s bones for being mean to his dog. Thankfully, Mantis was in another room, otherwise Dave would’ve chickened out on the spot.

Somehow, subconsciously, he noticed he’d flattened himself against the wall to decrease the chance of himself being noticed. Jesus, he had to calm down. He was treating this like a stealth mission.

Now, he had to go about this delicately.

“Hey, Eli. Wanna go to a bar?”

Not like that.

Eli cast a bored glance up at him, before doing a double take and nearly dropping the remote. “Pardon me?”

Dave mentally screamed at himself, freezing in place. Right, he forgot he didn’t know how to talk to people other than Hal. He opted to go with the “feigning confidence” strategy. “Come on, you’ve been lazing around my damn apartment too long. We should go do something.”

Eli raised an eyebrow, leaning back to lounge regally on the couch.. “Sure you’re not projecting, brother? You’re the one who’s been shut up in your room.” Damn it. Dave wanted to feel insulted, but, well, he was right.

“Still…” Eli looked pensive for a moment, dramatically stroking his chin. “You don’t have any good booze around here. Let’s go.”

Dave almost flinched out of pure shock, eyes widening. That worked? Holy shit, it worked.

He had to hold back a grin as he went to grab a coat. “Well, it’s settled then. You wanna tell your friend that we’re leaving?”

“Nah, he knows already.” Dave had no clue what he meant by that. “Right, then,” Eli declared, rising from the couch. “Let’s get a move on.”

“Bye, Rex.”

“Farewell, Rex!”

“Hey, leave my dog out of this.”

  
  


The walk was relatively uneventful, with Dave pointing out familiar stores periodically, and there being various iterations of Eli remarking that they should’ve taken his car, and Dave responding that he’d rather risk his life doing anything else.

It’s not like it was that far, anyways. The place that they came to was a small, sort of dingy hole in the wall type of bar, one that was close enough for them to easily walk to. Dave used to come much more often when he was feeling sorry for himself, but now, he could hopefully have a peaceful chat with his twin brother. The bar was a little more crowded than Dave remembered, with people sandwiched into tiny booths and against the pseudo-rustic brick walls. It made the hairs on the back of his neck vaguely stand up, but the two of them quickly found seats at the counter.

“Give us the strongest liquor you have.” Eli flashed a toothy grin at the bartender, hamming up the cocky attitude more than usual in the presence of others and gesturing regally. The bartender gave them an industry-standard nod and a smile, heading out of view.

“They don’t really have great stuff here, honestly. It’s not the best.” Dave muttered once the bartender left, eyeing the assortment they had in racks against the wall. He supposed he should’ve felt ashamed for recognizing most of the brands.

“Ah, well. Not the worst I’ve been in by far,” Eli responded, craning his neck to take in the surroundings.

“Yeah? What’s the worst one, then?” Dave cocked an eyebrow.

“Hnn… once, a fellow soldier and I drank gin out of a bathtub, does that count?”

“Ugh! What, like prohibition? Surprised that didn’t kill you.”

“I’m surprised that a lot of things haven’t killed me, really.”

The noise of the bar was a dull murmur buzzing peacefully in the back of Dave’s mind as he tapped his fingers against the counter. He wondered why he stopped coming to this place; it really wasn’t so bad.

“You two fellas mind getting out of my seat?”

Ah. Now he remembered why. Dave craned his neck around, spotting a grumpy looking man with greying hair and a beard crossing his arms at them. Out of habit, he eyed the guy up and down. He was bulky, but seemingly just for show instead of for combat. He’d be easy to take on in a fight, if it came to that. Behind him seemed to be a couple of his friends, giving off the same angry entitled vibes and glaring daggers at the two of them. Dave just rolled his eyes, turning around to ignore the guy.

“Why don’t you run along now.” Eli said dryly, not even turning around to look at the guy. Dave gave Eli a pointed look, but continued to try and ignore the man. That became difficult when he roughly nudged Dave aside, butting his way into Eli’s field of view.

“Oh, so you think you’re better than me, you smarmy British asshole?” Dave bristled, trying to crane his neck over the man to somehow nonverbally tell Eli to _not engage_. The bartender returned with their drinks, stiffening upon seeing the bearded man. So this wasn’t the first time he’d cause trouble, then.

“No, I know I am. Now go away.” Dave tensed, hands twitching against the counter.

“Mind repeating that?” The man clapped a hand on the shoulder, tone feigning friendliness when he was being anything but.

“Wh - don’t touch me, you bastard,” Eli spat, shoving the man away with more force necessary.

The man stumbled back somewhat, taking a moment to glare daggers at the two of them and light up a cigar, looking the part of a cheesy villain. Dave felt almost… an odd sense of déjà vu, and also that he could’ve sworn he saw a no smoking sign on the way in.

Eli suddenly stood up, looking significantly more indignant than a second ago and standing eye to eye with the man. He tried to grab Eli by the collar, Eli stopping him without hesitation by grabbing his wrist. His lips turned up into a grimace around his cigar, and in that moment, Dave felt like he looked exactly like -

The sickening _crack_ of a punch rang out, Dave watching completely frozen as Eli reeled back. It only took a moment for him to recover, before laying in on the asshole’s smug face, cigar clattering to the ground.

“Hey, _hey!_ ” Dave shoved himself away from the counter for leverage, ignoring the shattering of the glasses, before feeling himself being yanked by the collar. Turning his head a fraction, he ducked just in time to avoid a punch from one of his friends. Acting on instinct, he twisted his opponent’s wrist and used the momentum to shove him to the ground, ignoring his groan of pain as he dodged another swing.

Why the hell were they suddenly dragged into this mess?! He jabbed a second attacker in the stomach, grimacing from the acrid smell of alcohol while his attacker doubled over and gagged. Dave’s thoughts were racing as he wasted no time in tossing him roughly to the ground. So they were all probably recklessly drunk, then? Even so, how was it that they were only here for five or ten minutes and somehow already caused a bar fight?!

Trying to wrestle off someone who just tackled him, he tried to pick out his brother in the mess. Eli and the man were wailing on one another like rabid animals; Dave had no doubt that he could take him on alone, but more of the man’s friends were setting in to try and overtake him. Either he had more friends than Dave originally thought, or Dave’s thought process was getting muddled, gauging from how he was starting to hyperventilate and things were bleeding together. Half of him was shifting into mission mode and the other half was shifting into panic attack mode, which was the worst combo possible.

There wasn’t much he could consider, however, before hearing and feeling the smash of a bottle against the side of his head.

He staggered into the side of the counter, seeing lights dance around his vision and he struggled to catch his breath. Somehow, he’d managed to drag his assailant down with him, and he made sure to kick him in the chest as he staggered back upright.

Things were rapidly spinning out of control - blood was filling his mouth, he could hear patrons yelling, the bartender was paging someone, likely security… they had to get out of here.

Dave lunged towards Eli, who was quickly becoming buried in the fight. He bodily shoved a few people aside, finally managing to get a hand on the hood of Eli’s shirt.

“We have to go!” Dave barked, hauling Eli out of the mess. Eli stumbled backwards into Dave as he roughly dragged him, Eli stomping on an errant hand reaching towards him for good measure. Looking like absolute shit, Eli wiped blood from his nose, bruises blooming all over his skin. Dave got a sense of grim satisfaction from seeing that the bearded man was much worse off, rolling onto his stomach and spitting something up onto the tiles of the floor. His companions all froze, eyes flicking concernedly between their opponents and their fallen friend, which Dave took as a perfect sign for them to make their getaway.

Pivoting around, Dave saw that Eli was already one step ahead of him, and felt Eli grab his wrist and make a beeline for the door. Behind them, he heard the angry shout of one of the attackers, and felt a shot glass _thunk_ uselessly against his calf as the rest of them clambered up to chase after them.

The two brothers burst out of the doorway into the street, Dave dragging Eli by the wrist the opposite direction of the apartment. The band of assailants followed behind, though much slower due to their inebriated and wounded state.

He knew he was wildly overthinking this, but, oh god, he was panicking and kicking into survival mode. Snippets of strategy and half-formed plans ran through his head - the sunset would make them harder to identify from this angle, they shouldn’t lead them back to the apartment, if they took the next right, they might be able to lose them -

Dave was tugged out of his thoughts both figuratively and literally as they rounded the corner, Eli dragging him into a dark alleyway. The sudden change from the harsh light of the sunset to the cool dark silence between the bricks dazed him, having to blink to see clearly. Squinting his eyes, he could make out a wire fence, Eli jerking his thumb towards it.

Dave stood dumbly for a second before he nodded wordlessly, quickly getting on a knee in front of the fence and holding out his hands as a makeshift foothold. Eli wasted no time in jumping up, Dave boosting him best he could, before taking the hand Eli offered while perched precariously up top. Silently, he pulled Dave up, and the both of them dropped down on the other side in a seamless, perfect motion, almost as if they’d rehearsed it.

Dave cast a quick glance behind them, seeing the angry entourage run past, before they started the trek back.

The walk back was silent, but not uncomfortably so, maybe only because Dave was physically and mentally exhausted from earlier. It took them a much longer time to wind their way back, since they had to take a detour. By the time they were almost back, the last wisps of sunlight wound their way across the sky before being snuffed out, leaving them at the mercy of the streetlamps.

Occasionally, he’d glance at Eli as they passed one, taking in his withdrawn expression and bruises. Absentmindedly, he rubbed at the side of his head, his hand coming back sticky and red with half-dried blood, which he regarded with relative calm.

Finally, they made it back to the apartment, thankfully without running into any other trouble. It was quiet - Hal was still out, Mantis had once again disappeared, and even Rex was asleep. Dave immediately dug his first-aid kit out of a closet, handing to Eli who situated himself on the couch again. Heading to the bathroom to wash off his cuts, he met eyes with his reflection as he splashed water over the side of his head.

He didn’t look good, either - the blood had splattered a little more than he expected, with some of his hair matting, and he still looked like he was running off of pure adrenaline. Frowning, he gently rubbed his cheek with his hand. Well, at least it didn’t look like he lost any teeth.

Shaking his head and dabbing at his temple with a towel, he went back and sat himself down next to Eli, stealing a few bandages for himself. Dave raised his eyebrow at Eli’s absolute bang-up job of patching himself up; the bandages were haphazard, and it seemed like he was more interested in brewing in anger than actually fixing his wounds.

“Here, gimme that.” Eli’s gaze flicked over from Dave’s extended hand to his face, wary. “You’re not gonna heal properly with the way you’re treating those.”

Eli hesitated, before huffing and handing over the roll of bandage. Dave immediately set to work on rebandaging his cuts and bruises, feeling both sympathy and a weird sense of nostalgia. Distantly, he recalled when they were teenagers, and Eli would come stumbling home in the aftermath of one of the many fights he’d got into.

“Seems like individually we’re trouble magnets, but combined, we’re just too much.” Dave remarked, eyes flicking up to watch Eli’s reaction. He just huffed out a bitter laugh, crossing his arms and refusing to meet Dave’s eyes. He was sulking and closing himself off, a tactic Dave was unfortunately intimately familiar with.

The atmosphere was tense, neither of them daring to say a word. Dave tried to focus on patching Eli up, noting old scars and freckles he still had. He silently thanked his past self for having a passable first aid kit lying around, though he had to get up to grab ice packs from the fridge.

Shambling into the kitchen, he didn’t bother turning on the light, grasping for the handle in the darkness purely relying on memory. God, why were the ice packs shoved into the back? That wasn’t -

“It’s just…”

What?

Dave froze in place, his hand halfway in the freezer, almost thinking he imagined Eli’s voice.

Eli’s next words were quiet. “He looked like…”

There it was.

Dave let his hand gently fall to his side, thunking his head hollowly against the fridge.

The man had looked like their father, and it pissed off Eli more than anything ever could. Dave knew firsthand how that felt.

“Yeah, I know,” Dave sighed, closing his eyes as if to block off his emotions.

Shuffling back, Dave tossed Eli a couple ice packs, which he caught without looking. Kicking the first aid kit aside, Dave reclined back onto the couch. He really should’ve gone back to his room, but it felt like it was a million miles away. He just needed a minute. Just one minute.

The two of them stared blankly off into space, sitting next to each other in a sense of exhausted, sore, understanding kinship.

Neither of them noticed the other fall asleep.

Until, the two of them were rudely awakened an hour later by Hal’s squawk of surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i knew i was going to update this slowly, but i'm still dummy sorry that this takes so long...! to those eagerly awaiting new chapters and sending support, I Cant Thank You Enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
> anyways, dave and eli are wildly chaotic and you can't put them in a room together. SOMETHING'S gonna happen.  
> i really hope u enjoyed! :'O again, as usual, pls let me know your opinions! see any typos? see anything you like! go ahead and mcfreakin tell me!


	4. Day 3

Dave groaned, the first thing he felt upon waking up being a headache, static running through his brain, and a sore jaw. Of course, he’d woken up to worse before, but it made it no less annoying.

Compelling his eyes to open, he could just make out the time - 6:07 AM. Normally now would be when he got up, but he figured he deserved a little beauty sleep after getting the shit kicked out of him. He figured Hal would appreciate it, too.

Hal?

He bolted upright in bed, checking beneath blankets and even lifting the pillows even though Hal obviously wasn’t present. He racked his brain as he untangled himself from the sheets - after being woken up, Dave had given Hal a brief explanation before stumbling off to his room, and Hal had said he’d follow suit soon. Or had he? To be fair, Dave was really groggy when -

Dave muffled a yelp and caught himself just in time, tripping over something sitting in front of his door. Looking down, he was met with a very annoyed glare with none other than… Mantis.

Dave stood dumbly for a moment, always at a loss for words when trying to interact with him.

“Do you mind?” Mantis beat him to the punch.

Dave fumbled for words, irritated but not wanting to start anything at six in the morning. “Oh, uh… sorry. Just, why are you-”

“Dave!” Only one person in the world could whisper that poorly. Dave turned around, confusedly relieved to see Hal waving him over from around the corner.

Padding over, Dave leaned on the back of the couch and squinted against the morning light sneaking its way through the window. Hal, predictably, was on his laptop, watching one of his cartoons.

“So, here’s what’s going on.” Anyone else would think that Hal was whispering loudly for comedic effect, but Dave knew that Hal legitimately thought he was being quiet. “Eli’s locked himself in the bathroom.”

Dave blinked.

“What.”

“I-I dunno! Maybe he just wants some… alone time?” Hal worriedly pressed a hand to his face. “Mantis has been keeping thorough guard of the door, so that’s why you tripped on him, I think.”

In any other scenario Dave would be pissed, but now, all he could do was heave a sigh. Thinking about how tempestuous Eli was the night before, he just couldn’t muster the anger. This was exactly what he’d do when they were kids - Eli would lock himself in his room doing god knows what, and no one would see him for hours, maybe even days. Except now, he had to resort to the only other room that locked from the inside.

“Well… shit. You think we should just leave him alone?” Dave ran a hand through his hair, too tired to deal with this. Not like he was good at emotions, even at his best.

“Yeah… Yeah, probably.” Hal murmured, adjusting his glasses. Dave nodded, trusting Hal’s opinion. There probably wasn’t much they could, or _should_ do.

None of that answered Dave’s question of why Hal was awake, though.

“Why are you up this early, anyways?”

“Um, about that…” Hal’s eyes widened a bit in shock, before darting away in a tell-tale look of guilt.

“...You haven’t gone to sleep since coming home, have you.”

“Da-ave…” Hal hunched over his computer, trying to hide his sheepish smile.

“What’s that smile for, huh? Is it because you know I’m going to win this argument?” Hal couldn’t help but laugh, closing his laptop and throwing his hands up in defeat. Dave grinned and set Hal’s laptop on the table for him, knowing his boyfriend’s habits well by now. “Good to see you’re learning after the thousandth time I’ve told you to go to bed.”

“Okay, okay, I get it!” Hal chuckled, bumping his shoulder with Dave’s as he got up. Dave couldn’t help but smile in return - god, he loved this man.

As Dave shepherded Hal towards their room, he cast a glance at the bathroom door, securely locked shut, and at Mantis, typing away on his phone. If Dave had to guess, he was probably texting Eli.

As he closed his bedroom door, Dave saw Mantis’s eyes anxiously flick towards the bathroom door, and Dave felt uneasiness start to creep into his thoughts.

  
  


Dave awoke next at the practically luxurious time of 9:10 AM. Realizing Hal wasn’t with him, he panicked again, before grappling with his old flip phone on the bedside table.

Hal always made fun of him for having it, but it still served its sole purpose of letting him communicate with Hal. Right now, the blue light stung at his eyes, but he could read the tiny screen perfectly:

8:46 AM 

H: Going to work, ily u3u <3

H: It’s gonna be a late night so wait up for me

H: Oh and good luck with Eli

He smiled briefly, feeling sappy, before snapping himself to grim reality. He had quite the situation to defuse.

Creeping out of his room and stepping over Mantis, he... proceeded to avoid dealing with the situation.

Well, not… _avoid_ it, really, he just wanted to… take time to formulate a game plan. That’s what he told himself as he leashed up Rex, and left his apartment as soon as possible.

Which he continued to do, over and over.

After his walk with Rex, he kept finding himself excuses to stay out of the apartment. He went for another run, conveniently remembered Hal wanted him to go buy something, etc, etc… He even considered running to visit Hal, who worked at a place 20 minutes away by bus. Dave could probably run that far.

Eventually, he ran out of excuses, and Dave realized he’d spent most of the day avoiding his problems.

He felt a little ashamed as he walked up the stairs to his room, but at the same time, who could blame him? This was, quite literally, his nightmare scenario - having to deal with emotionally charged social situations with not only a stranger, but his _brother_.

He snuck back into his apartment as quietly as possible, only to be surprised that Mantis was gone, and all the lights were off. Not that that bothered him - it was at least one problem taken care of.

Letting out a deep sigh, he flopped on the couch and let Rex hop on him. The atmosphere felt… thick, almost somber, in a way that made him want to stare at the ceiling blankly.

It hit him that this was the last day Eli was going to be here. He could leave him alone, and let the problem resolve itself.

But… who knew how long it would be before he saw him again?

He spared another glance at the hallway, dark save for the sliver of light peeking beneath the door.

Before he could think too hard and psyche himself out of it, he delicately pushed Rex off of him and headed to the kitchen. Grasping around in the very back of his cupboard, he found his prize - a translucent bottle filled with amber liquid, embossed with curly gold script. He and Hal had agreed long ago that Dave should cut down on his drinking habit, but there was no force in the world that could make him throw away his fancy liquor. He’d paid good money for it, dammit, and now he could put it to work.

At this point, Dave didn’t care where Mantis had gone, and honestly stopped questioning whatever he did altogether. In fact, he was beginning to appreciate his uncanny ability to leave at perfect times.

Dave took a deep breath, feeling a little stupid, before knocking on the bathroom door. Predictably, he was met with silence.

He cleared his throat. “Eli.”

Finally, Eli said something. “No.”

... Fair enough. This felt like all the times when they were kids, where Eli would hog the bathroom to himself. Dave smiled briefly.

He swished the bottle near the door, hoping he could hear it through the thin wood. “I’ve got brandy. Fancy British shit.” If his brother was anything like him, aside from the identical genes, then he’d take the bait.

Silence again. Straining his ears, Dave could pick up some rustling noises, followed by a clatter and muffled curses.

He jumped when the door finally opened a crack. Even while silhouetted by the fluorescent lights behind him, Dave could still tell that Eli looked like complete shit. His bruises were fading, which was good, but made him look almost ghoulish with their sickly greens and yellows. Most concerning of all, though, was Eli scowling at him like he wanted him to die.

Dave knew his brother, though, and took a step back. Swishing the bottle as if luring a wild animal, he gestured towards the kitchen. “Wanna drink with me? No bar fights this time, I promise.”

The silence dragged on, Dave feeling very much like Eli was trying to set him on fire with his mind.

“...Fine.”

Dave felt a sense of pride, undercut by vague panic as he went back to the kitchen and dug through cupboards. He probably should have found shot glasses beforehand, but honestly, he did not expect his plan to work. Behind him, he heard Eli skulk out of the bathroom and follow him, cracking his neck sickeningly loudly. Dave guessed that he’d been sleeping in the bathtub, or something. 

Eli dropped himself into a chair just as Dave triumphantly clinked two shot glasses onto the table. Hal had bought them for him as a joke souvenir, so they were unbearably tacky, but he figured neither of them would mind.

Quietly, they both downed shots without hesitation, Dave sighing at the familiar burn.

Eli poured himself another, before glancing at the bottle. “This isn’t British. It’s German.”

“Yeah, I know.” Dave shrugged, snatching the bottle from him.

  
Eli looked at him curiously. “Did you think saying it was British would lure me out more effectively? 

“... Kinda. I tried, okay - it’s not like I had any beans on toast to excite your British ass.”

Eli rolled his eyes spectacularly and elbowed him, but still cracked a small smile.

A few more minutes and a few more shots passed in not quite uncomfortable silence  


“What did you do? After you left?” Dave murmured, flicking his eyes towards Eli. He was a bastard, but he was still his brother, and a part of Dave always worried about him after he ran away.

Eli heaved a sigh, swishing the liquid in his glass. “Ah, the usual stuff. Enlisted in the army, left the army, broke a bunch of laws... I’m pretty sure if I go back to some countries, they’ll arrest me on sight. Did you know I’m also banned from 50 fast food chains?”

Dave snorted. “Figures. Good to know you’re still in one piece.”

“Right." Eli gestured towards him with the bottle. "What about you, then?”

Dave grunted. “Well, you already knew I joined the army. Afterwards, I holed myself up in Alaska with fifty dogs, drank a lot, then moved in here with Hal.”

“Sounds real healthy, brother."

“Wh - hey! At least I had dogs!” Well, he _was_ right.

“Dogs are nice, yes,” Eli murmured, toeing Rex, who’d squeezed himself under the table at some point.

“Like you’re one to talk, anyways! It sounds like you went on a one-man global rampage.”

“Hey, hey! It’s not as bad as it sounds!” Dave severely doubted that. Eli waved a hand as if to wave off his concerns.“I made some good friends… ”

“... And, well, had a few boyfriends here and there.” Eli finished, and fixed Dave with a defiant stare as if daring him to say something.

Oh.

Dave’s choked on his drink and his brain completely short-circuited, his mouth opening and closing like a fish.

“Something you’d like to say?” Eli’s eyebrow twitched, his grip subtly tightening on the glass. Dave quickly scrambled for an answer.

“N-No, that’s fine! Um. I’ve had boyfriends too, actually.” It wasn’t eloquent, but it was the best he could do at the moment.

Eli blinked slowly, tension leaving his body. “Oh. Well. Good to know.”

They both pointedly avoided each other’s eyes for a long moment. This was absolutely not what Dave expected to happen, and his brain had ground to a complete halt.

Suddenly, a horrible idea crossed both of their minds, and they whipped around to face each other.

“DON’T TELL ME YOU’RE DATING THAT PSYCHIC WEIRDO?”

“DON’T TELL ME YOU’RE DATING THAT PASTY NERD?”

Both of them yelled at the same time, before freezing in place. Then all of a sudden, they burst into laughter.

Maybe it made sense that since one of them liked men, the identical twin would too, but they were both too stupid to realize it. Ah, well, neither of them passed biology, anyway. Eli poured both of them a celebratory shot, brandy sloshing everywhere, but he didn’t care in the slightest.

“God, we’re stupid.” Dave rubbed at his temples, taking his glass from Eli.

“Dumb as all hell.” Eli proclaimed.

“You think George likes men too?”

They both pondered for a second.

“Nah.” They said in unison, before laughing again.

“You know, I’ve actually been meaning to visit George too, after this." Eli said, in between laughs. "I sent him a letter, but who knows if it actually got to him, with how many damned secretaries he probably has.”

It was ironic that Eli was the one reaching out after all these years, after he was the first one to run away from his family. It made Dave feel…

He reached over and clapped Eli on the back, trying to grumble out a non committal answer. It was hard to not let any emotion show on his face and ignore Eli eyeing him curiously.

“Yeah, knowing him, he uses that and all his money for kindling, or some shit. Who knows, though, maybe the wax seal changed his mind.”

“Ah, yes. I was quite partial to the wax seal. I got it myself, you know.” Eli seemed to preen himself, while Dave decided against calling him out on how he obviously stole it.

“Just so you know, George really aged like a damn donkey. The first time Hal met him, he thought he could be our uncle or something.”

“Well. He lived with…” Eli paused, but only briefly. “Big Boss... for the longest, right? That’ll do it to a man.”

Dave groaned, raising his glass for a makeshift toast. “I’ll drink to that. You gonna go visit dear old dad, too?”

“ _Fuck_ no!” Eli proclaimed loudly and clinked his glass against Dave’s, both of them downing the shots like it was water.

Things felt different, but still the same.

This was just Eli.

This was his brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the last day! thank u so much for reading, though there's still an epilogue to come...! i hope u enjoyed!


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